No child speaks like this!  
Hell, no adult speaks like this for that matter.

@redweasel  
Corrections, yay! Thank you.

( read my thought bubble on matchmakers you goddamn magic unicorn )  
“don’t you remember what happened to cheerilee?”  
“yes. that’s why we’re going to put an ad in the paper instead!”  
“by the way on an unrelated note rainbow dash is beautiful and cool and I bet she’s rich and a national hero. she’s an exemplary citizen.”  
“scootaloo…”  
“she’s also bi and pansexual and even did it once with a gryphon.”  
“nopony is going to believe that. it sounds like you’re trying too hard and patronizing ponies by telling them kind lies to fool them.”  
“just like when rarity says her thighs are huge, nopony believes her because it’s too obviously socially desirable so it must be untrue.”  
“social desirability bias your souls for that answer”  
“yes, that’s it.”

I translated one, but it took longer than I expected to be really careful about the wording and the ideas. Feel free to give it a go; I’m grading a final right now.

@Rpground  
Yes. It’s an important point, but the language doesn’t get it across.

This really needs a proof reader…