Right, lets do this. The ’see how wrong I can be’ contest.
André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal – Woken Bray Wyatt. He’s always been a hard worker, and what better way to kick off a revived character than a wrestlemania win?
WrestleMania Women’s Battle Royal – Bayley. I simply feel like they’re going big on this Sasha/Bayley feud, and I feel Bayley needs a little more momentum going into that.
Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali – Cedric Alexander by heel turn. Mustafa Ali pretty much set this up by saying Cedric’s always been ’not quite good enough’, and this time he would have to put everything on the line to get the title. This was basically a big blinking light that Cedric’s finally going to lose his shit at being denied his dreams again, and go total heel to win. Mustafa is a great babyface, Cedric’s a kinda boring one… makes sense.
Charlotte Flair © vs. Asuka – Carmella. Because… lols. More seriously, it adds to Asuka’s character by being a giant kick in the balls to her streak, it retains the mystique of Charlotte vs Asuka (as we don’t get a definitive ending), and… who I am kidding, I just think it would be fucking hilarious.
Cesaro and Sheamus © vs. Braun Strowman and Elsworth – Braun. This is the mystery partner that makes most sense to me, Braun clearly deserves a win at this point, and Cesaro and Sheamus feel like they need a comeuppance that the ’Curse of Seth Rollins’ has denied them.
The Usos (Jey and Jimmy Uso) © vs. The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, and/or Xavier Woods) vs. The Bludgeon Brothers (Harper and Rowan) – Bludgeon Brothers. They need the win to set themselves up as legit, and the others kinda don’t at this point.
Alexa Bliss © vs. Nia Jax – Nia Jax. I would book it as a squash, with every dirty trick Alexa tries completely cut off. Alexa is over enough to absorb a squash without the slightest drop in momentum, and Nia kinda needs one.
Randy Orton © vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev – Bobby Roode, via heel turn. Rusev also gets a big babyface turn, but Bobby will screw him with… say, a kick in the balls at the crucial moment.
The Miz © vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Bálor – Finn, going total heel to do it. The Miz takes the pin and goes part time so he can have some paternity leave, a Seth/Finn feud is set up.
Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon – …yeah, Kurt and Ronda. This is a Vince match, where it’s just ten minutes of the faces murdering the authority figures.
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn – Daniel Bryan and Sami Zane. Ok… this is weird and unlikely, but bear with me. Shane will screw Daniel Bryan by walking out on him halfway through the match, leaving Daniel to get absolutely murdered by Kevin and Sami… only for Sami to finally get second thoughts, rally to the defense of Bryan, and turn on Kevin.
Brock Lesnar © vs. Roman Reigns – Roman, via interference by Undertaker. Yeah, I’m going there. Taker will turn up to screw with both of them, but Roman will cement his tweener status by taking advantage of the distraction to score a pin. (he won’t have long to celebrate, as Taker will then take him out)
Cena vs Undertaker – No Contest.
They go a bit, but Undertaker will take Cena down and then leave the ring before they even have time to ring the bell. Feud continues on into next year’s Wrestlemania.
AJ Styles © vs. Shinsuke Nakamura – AJ Styles. It will be emotional, and both will throw everything they have into the match. It will be proper babyface vs babyface, and both will be encouraging each other throughout. Then, when AJ wins both will shake hands and close out wrestlemania together.
