What the H-

Awesome.

There had better not be brakes on the rape swan.

your parents probably told you not to get into cars with strangers. doubt they said anything about strange cars getting into you.

“Swanmolestia”
 
^Yes

Hey kiddies… wanna go for a RIDE?!

It would control like the It bike from South Park.
 

Oh good lord.
 
>see vaguely swan-shaped wheeled carriage with Molestia’s head  
“well, that’s a very pretty carriage, it looks sort of”  
>carriage turns its head to stick its tongue out at you  
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”  
>“Don’t be afraid. Step over and have a seat. I’ve wanted all of you inside me for so long!”  
“Not funny.”  
>“I’m just inviting you to sit down. Do you have a dirty mind, or something?”  
“Not compared to yours.”  
>“Flattery will get you everywhere.”  
“I need an adult!”  
>“I am an adult.”  
“Help!”  
>“They see me rollin’, they want to catch me ridin’ dirty”  
“Where’d you even hear that song?”  
>“Is it your first time in a swan carriage? I’ll be gentle.”  
>it was just another day in paradise

Oh HELL YES!