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Champions of Equestria

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Description

What in Celestia’s glowing arsehole did you just fucking say about Lyra, you filly-little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Royal Monster Hunting Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Queen Chrysalis, and I have captured over 300 of the most deadly monsters on this fucking planet. I am trained in Zebran martial arts and I’m the top monster-hunter in the entire Equestrian nation. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Equestria, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to my girl over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of agents across Equestria and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, parasprite. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, mule. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hooves. Not only am I extensively trained in non-unicorn combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Equestrian Royal Guard and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable plot off the face of this planet, you breezie shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will fart fury all over you and you will suffocate in it. You’re fucking dead, filly.

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Comments

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Benzene
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
Economist -
Magical Inkwell - Wrote MLP fanfiction consisting of at least around 1.5k words, and has a verified link to the platform of their choice
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little cinaede? I’ll have you know I got a 5 on the AP exam, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids in the Gallic Wars, and my gladius has over CCC confirmed kills. I am trained in simian warfare and I’m the top centurion in the entire Roman Empire Legion Empire. Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi in rupibus ventosimmus exponebantur ad necem. I will stab you like Brutus stabbed Caesar, except with precision that will make you wish you’d never been born - mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Derideo te! As we speak, my legions are coming from across the Empire and your fate has been cast with the gods so you better prepare for the storm, vermicule. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Your words are like a brutem fulmen and I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over DCC different ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat by the greatest gladiators, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Praetorian Guard and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you pathice. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you stulte. I will shit Iupiter’s fury all over you and you will drown in it. Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, kiddo.
Background Pony #AEB2
Strangely enough the only part of this I actually paid any attention to was “celestia’s glowing arsehole”
Phantom Rider
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).

You are already booped.
Lesson of the day: do not insult Agent Bon Bond’s very best friend or you will die to regret it.
 
@Aasha  
I take it Inner Sight is the blind one? Too delicious for it to not be so.
Background Pony #4A58
Lyra Can You Change Your Mane Its Dull..
 
Bon Bon : FFFFFFFFFFFFF-
 
O.0 Sorry?