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Description
I want to live a trillion morns
I wish to have remained unborn.
A princess I will never be
They will never chant my name.
Sub specie aeternitatis [in the perspective of eternity]
I can’t see myself at all.
Yet even as I nonexist
Timor mortis conturbat me. [the fear of death disturbs me]
I wish to have remained unborn.
A princess I will never be
They will never chant my name.
Sub specie aeternitatis [in the perspective of eternity]
I can’t see myself at all.
Yet even as I nonexist
Timor mortis conturbat me. [the fear of death disturbs me]
Basically I am suffering from two kinds of despair.
The first kind is small and concrete: I want deep friendship that can touch my soul, and I have had those friends in the past, but such intense friendships are hard to last, and they break apart or fade away.
I feel so numb from all the past friendships. I don’t want to repeat the cycle again.
The second kind is big and abstract: I want to be remembered. I don’t want to live without an eternal meaning, but I know my chances are so small. I will never be a princess like Celestia or Luna, or Twilight. But even though I feel like I’m nothing, the pain is still so real.
Both of these despairs have one thing in common: everything breaks apart, nothing lasts.
your current filter.…I wish I knew what can make you feel a little bit better
…I wish you could find a spirit in yourself to make yourself feel better
:(
you sound right now like a potentially lost friend, the pain of realizing this is physical.
You yourself consist of physical matter, a matter, which if used in a way that would not be yoursef could change a world in a certain way for good or bad. You have a unique power over that local matter to follow your will to stop bad from happening or to make a way for the good to happen. I’m so very grateful that this matter is yourself and not something else. Meh, that sounds like crazytalk. I guess that’s how people locally remember you.
The sweet @The Luna Fan here cares about you2
Regarding your wish to be remembered , I guess that we all want to leave our mark in the world for better of for worse, but I think that you can leave your mark in the world without archiving world changing discoveries, just by trying to do some good in the world is enough to make a difference….